Sunday night February 17th I had a couple strong contractions that made me thing my body may be getting ready for Camp’s arrival. At that point I was 41 weeks and very ready to go whenever my body decided it was time! Monday February 18th, I had light contractions all day and lost what I assume was my mucous plug but it didn’t really affect our plans. We went and had lunch at some friends house, came home and had naps then once Jeremy got home (he left work early because his day wasn’t going too well) we all headed to the gym. I had been trying to walk everyday so I did my 2.5 miles on the treadmill while Jeremy worked out. After we finished, it was right around 6pm, I went to go to the restroom and Jeremy went to get the girls loaded up. After I went to the bathroom when I stood up I felt a gush, I thought maybe my water had broken but once I checked I realized it was blood. I sat back down on the toiled and more blood came out. My first thought was that since I had some stronger contractions while walking it was probably some bloody show from dilation and maybe I really was starting labor, but I quickly realized this wasn’t bloody show. It seemed to come in gushes then would stop. I quickly went to the car and told Jeremy we need to go straight home, I called my midwife while we were driving and she said to keep her posted once we got home. By the time we got home there was blood on my seat and running down my legs. I went inside and was sure it was going to stop but at this point I knew in the back of my mind something was wrong, I started to panic. I don’t think I’ve ever felt the fear and panic before that I felt at that time. I couldn’t get baby boy to move so that only added to my panic. I started to shake and was in tears, Jeremy was a rock for me at this time. I know he was scared and the unknowns were daunting to us both. I texted Donnellyn (my midwife) a picture because it’s so hard to estimate blood loss, she immediately called back and said we needed to go to the hospital. If your reading this and don’t know I have had 2 home births with a midwife and was planning to deliver my 3rd this way too, a hospital birth in any shape or form was the farthest thing from my plan. I quickly changed clothes, Jeremy got the girls loaded in the car and I grabbed my purse. We live about 10 minutes from the hospital, we had left our house about 6:20. Jeremy dropped my off at the entrance and my midwife had already called Labor and Delivery giving them the heads up that I was on my way.
I got to a room about 6:40 and Jeremy got the girls in and we both quickly went through getting me checked in and answering what felt like a million questions! I’ve never been in the hospital before, never had an IV, never been given medications and such so it all started feeling like a bad dream. They put the heart monitor on Camp and the best sound I’ve ever heard filled the room. My baby was ok, I immediately knew at this point that whatever happened God would be faithful, yet still in the back of my mind fully expected to be sent home once things settled down and my bleeding was under control. In a matter of about 15 minutes (so 6:45-7) the anesthesiologist came in and went over pain control options if surgery was needed, my parents arrived at the hospital, my sister came and got the girls, my midwife arrived, I was given an IV in each hand, had blood drawn from each arm and the Doctor came in and said our only option with this amount of bleeding was a c-section. I clearly remember a wave of shock going through my body, surgery was the last thing on my radar until about an hour earlier and it all just felt like too much to process. She explained that time was of the essence because it sounded like I had a placental abruption (where the placenta begins to separate from the wall of the uterus) and the fact that Camp had a heart beat showed it wasn’t fully separated but in a matter of minutes that could change and we risked losing our baby. With fear and panic we agreed a c-section was needed. My Dad, Mom and Jeremy prayed quickly over me as they begin prepping me to go back to the OR and within minutes I was wheeled away. They sent Jeremy to get scrubbed up and have him wait while I got my spinal, since Camp’s heart rate sounded good I was able to receive a spinal and be awake for the surgery. I was taken back to the OR around 7:15, once they had me numbed and prepped Jeremy came in and surgery was under way. From the time they started surgery it was about 7-10 minutes before Camp was born. At 7:51pm I heard my baby cry and knew that we were all going to be ok. I could go on forever about how great the anesthesiologist was and how well taken care of I felt. He explained what was happening as the surgery progressed and reassured me that what I was feeling, hearing and seeing was normal. I got to watch them clean my baby up, weigh him and wrap him up then Jeremy brought him over to me. I was able to kiss his cheeks and cry in gratefulness that he was ok. Jeremy and Camp went with the baby nurse to the nursery while they closed me up and took me to recovery. When I got to recovery I had my baby in my arms in a matter of minutes. He immediately nursed the reality that he was here started to sink in. The nurse told me that the waiting room was full and slowly some of my family and friends came back to the recovery room to give hugs, share tears and meet our sweet baby. I was taken to a room around midnight.
As I write this I have tears running down my cheeks. I have struggled with such a huge range of emotions in this past week. Feeling SO thankful that my baby was ok and for the medical intervention that was available to us, feeling robbed of “my birth” and missing the feeling that comes once you hold your baby after laboring so hard to get them here. But I keep coming back to choosing to see God’s hand in it all and allowing God to write this story and use it for His glory. Campbell means “from the beautiful field” and Jack means “God is gracious”, and I know it’s not my chance that we named him that. My little man couldn’t be more perfect, he is such a joy to my heart and has brought more smiles to my girls then I knew possible. He is his Daddy’s pride and joy and even has his Daddy’s dark hair. I know we have a long road of recovery for me ahead but I’m choosing to trust that God will heal my body as he heals my heart. I still have lots of emotions to work through and every day new ones surface but I’m daily (sometimes hourly) choosing to trust. God promises that HIS strength is made perfect in my weakness and there is nothing like major abdominal surgery to make you feel weak. We’ve been so blessed by a community of family and friends who have supported us and loved on our girls through this last week. Jeremy has carried the majority of the load from the girls, to house cleaning, laundry and getting us all fed and he has done it with joy. He has allowed me to sit on the couch and just cry when I don’t know why I am even crying, he has allowed me to express my anger and vent my questions of “why me, when I did everything right do I end up with a c-section”, he has just listened and loved me despite it all. I’m grateful today and choosing to trust in a God who is only Faithful! Here is a slideshow of Camp’s arrival! http://www.shareitvideo.com/watch.php?v=241555843408656